What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
