i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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