Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
