Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
