Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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