Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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