it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
