I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
