ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
