never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
