Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
