with your own penis?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
