That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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