my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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