Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
