I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
