Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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