My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
