Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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