so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
