I need help removing her.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
