"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
