fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
