Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were trust falling into bushes
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
