question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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