You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i believe in u and ur pee
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
