so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize