We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
