not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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