You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
