Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
