you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
