Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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