We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
