He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
