The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
