I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
