your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Randomize
