Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
