as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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