Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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