I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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