I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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