One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
