So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
