This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
