Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
