I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
