dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
