he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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