Christians are straight up FREAKS
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
