all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
