i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
